**My mom sent me thing and it got me laughing, it is an oldie but goody.
The “Middle Wife” by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”

“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there.

He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.” She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.

The kids are watching her in amazement. “Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

“My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.” Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

“And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!” This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!

“Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s
play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.”

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another “Middle Wife” comes along.

Now you have two choices…laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs.

After I dropped him, I stopped at the store on my way into town and picked a few things, mainly litter & cat food….the spoiled brats. Then it was on to home. I had a friend waiting on me to take care of some business. It took longer then expected, but then I had to head to the bank to take care of other parts of the business.

By now I’ve totally lost track of time and needed to get some sort of food in me……so a quick stop at bk just for 1 burger to be tossed into me. And then on to staples, finally got me the new quickbooks program that I needed. Looks nice, what I’ve seen. I haven’t been able to dig in to as much as I would like……but I will get my moment.

When I got home, it was to attack more of the same work since the info I had for the bank was incorrect…..icks I finally got all my reports and data entries done for rude. I still need my do all my receipts…the pile keeps getting bigger.

I need to do some solo shoots while Torn is gone, but guess what I forgot to do? Ask Torn to out the lights together. They aren’t that hard but if you don’t know them, it is hard to organize them. So I have put one set together and I WILL do some shoots tomorrow. I have to……I’m broken later this week and I’m out of town next week.

I’m just so totally overwhelmed……..it wouldn’t be bad at all if I had more time. I’m enjoying what I’m doing, I just want more time to work on it.

Go thing I don’t comment on boards very much. Some moron on a board I occasionally go to in his defense of Imus turned around and said that the girls on that team were “nappy-headed hos”!!! Just because they aren’t the normal standard of “pretty”…..I would love just to bitch slap his stupid idiotic ass for that! What pisses me off is everyone just lets him run that shit from his mouth and even encourage the moron no matter what the subject, even though overall the board is a very reasonable board. It is disappointing. I just try to avoid his shitty posts.

I hate the racism in that comment that Imus made and I hope that it really brings up the double standard that is in hip-hop. I really love the beat and the rhythms of hip-hop, but I HATE the sexism in it. That is why Imus thought he could get away with it…..he was a heavy weight and this crap is accepted is in the mainstream hip-hop. I don’t believe Imus is actually racist and meant it to be, he is a shock jock and thought he was being funny.

As a feminist, I knowledge the racism in that comment he made, but I really see the sexism in it. That is how hip-hop culture treat their women and it really pisses me off. I do not like seeing my sisters of any color being treated that way.

One of my favorite hip-hop bands growing up was Salt-N-Pepper, they spoke of sexual and individual empowerment. They didn’t put up with being treated like “hos”…..it was on their terms, strong terms. That is the hip-hop that I’ve always enjoyed.

Maybe with the focus on race issues, it will help bring attention to this : Report: Black Men Mired In Social Crisis

This is so sad and as been obvious for years, but no one wants to see it. =(

This is depressing and needs a moment of silence for the ones who have lost their lives in the worst shooting ramapage in American history : At Least 33 Killed In Va. Tech Massacre